The Perils of Growing Up

I think he may have gotten the hint. From my reactions and also from a talk with his friend. I feel really bad that he feels so bad and confused over this, but I can't help what I feel, just like he can't help but feel what he feels. What's wrong with friends? Why is he so intent on finding more than that, and if he doesn't find it, why is it the end of the world? I wish I was a confrontational person, I would have put an end to this a month ago when I had an inkling about it, and his feelings would not have grown so strong. I really hope I didn't lead him on, I feel like I did some things I shouldn't have, possibly leading him on at one point but then also trying to show him I wasn't interested, which made me feel bad because I felt very rude, which is so not me. This stuff is never easy I guess. It's a learning point for the both of us I think.

Whatever happens I really do hope we can continue to be friends, he's super nice and we have common interests and his friends are pretty cool too. I had fun with them this weekend, but it would have been more fun if I wasn't all concerned about trying to subtly send a message to him.

Now the question, does this really belong on here? It really is a bit too personal, but by the same token I kind of hope that he might see this, understand, not feel too bad and we avoid an awkward conversation. Though I know that's not the way to go with this. I'm just so non confrontational it's not even funny.

Either way, this is a lesson learnt and also an apology for probably not handling it properly, but both sides are poorly trained at this I'm thinking. We just have to remember to get up in the morning and smile because we have people that will always be there for us, no matter what.

PS. Roomies, I miss you! I'm DESPERATE to start working!!!